lets talk about birthdays
happy birthday to meee!! shake ya ass for ya pisces.
allow me the moment to be as unserious as i need to be (cue marinas primadona girl). birthdays have always held a special place in my heart as i continue to learn how to embrace my perception of recognizing the perseverance it takes to see yourself through another 365 day cycle. any amount of time brings unrelenting change, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. and that’s more than ok.
i know birthdays can be a weird thing to approach, especially if it was never something that you placed a lot of emphasis on anyways, but there can be a kind of freedom found in honoring the space between where you’ve been and where you’re going (aka your mf birth date).
from my perspective, its been a day where i can release the idea of what people have to care about, because i care about it all - and at the top of the list is ME. me as i am, me as i was, me as i will be. there are a couple of ways that i try to process reflecting on the past but ironically, they all focus on what im doing in the present. so here are some ways i choose to appreciate myself on the day i was born:
quality alone time
i actually cannot stress how much i need my alone time on my birthday. sometimes i must concede to being a cancer moon before anything else. i always find that on the day of my birthday i am fully facing the effects of aging in a way that asks me to call attention to how impactful its been, which can be fun, but more than anything it can be overwhelming and isolating.
so on the day of my birthday i try not to pressure myself too much to gather as many well wishes as possible or rely too much on over the top plans that put me front and center. of course i still want those things, but my alone time is centered around letting myself embrace the fact that i am a little older - and a little wiser, stupider, funnier, hotter - and while there isn’t a way of stopping that, there can always be a way of appreciating it.
a personal birthday tradition
its ok to have plans in place that allow you the space and time to love yourself. included in my plans of loving myself is identifying when and where i can spoil myself, and my birthday is one of those special occasions where i can say “man fuck that price tag, lemme get two of them”.
for me, a tattoo is my perfect way of symbolizing the extra year i got under my belt. i can look at the pieces i have collected over the years and pinpoint exactly what i was feeling and experiencing as i was sitting in that chair (and lemme tell you, as i get older the “feeling” is just pure pain lmao). but the point is that its personal to me. its a way that i find some kind of honor in making this moment - this one day a year - permanent, and i wouldn’t give it up for the world. im not saying you gotta go out there and tie yourself to body modification, but you get the gist.
make a birthday bingo card
its no surprise that as you get older, some things just get harder to come around to, especially if you’re like me and your memory looks a lot like a big ass puzzle with tiny missing pieces (like you know you got enough for the whole picture but its never gonna be complete). new years is known for getting the rep of “new year, new me” and while that’s dandy you really don’t hit that new year until you get to the day you were born, so why not take the time to figure out some things you’re wanting to get around to before you “get too old”. personally, i think even when you’re 80 you still gotta have some fire in you to get that random tongue piercing or dye your hair purple, but that may not be everyones ideal retirement plan. so in the meantime, live your damn life.
write down the things that excite you, the dreams that just won’t fade away, the goals you wish you had more time to get around to. because before you know it you’ll (hopefully) be celebrating another birthday, and you don’t want to be the person sitting around feeling sorry for the things your younger self seemed to miss out on. you’re worth the time and effort is takes to make the things you want happen.
anyways, that’s my spiel on how and why birthdays are so special to me (especially mine)! you can read all of this and say “yeahhh, its always gonna be just another day to me” and that’s cool, but i swear if you project that agenda onto others who are looking for ways to celebrate themselves and the life they have lived, then i promise there is a special place at the pity party with your name on it.
if any of this resonates with you, that’s perfect! my master plan is working! soon everyone will be a birthday freak like i am! HAHAHA!!!
thanks for checking this piece out! below are some different ways i celebrated my bday this year:
